The office of the Babbling Bear has never been so busy. Ever since we ran a story on President Pollack’s achievement in earning the Neville Chamberlain Peace in our Time Award for the appeasement of the Peaceful Protesters in the Encampment, and a story on the Cornell Board of Trustees weighing in on their approval of the appeasement, we have received tens of millions of unmarked bills to build a statue of Neville Chamberlain in honor of President Pollack’s service in negotiating the terms of the appeasement.

We have found a craftsman from Tyre, Lebanon, to craft the statue. His roots go back to Huram-Abi, a man of great skill, whose mother was from Dan and whose father was from Tyre. He is trained to work in gold and silver, and bronze and wood.

The wording on the base of the statue, which is yet to be determined, will be in Qatari Arabic, Najdi Arabic, and Mandarin Chinese, so that all future Cornellians will be able to appreciate President Pollack’s appeasement.

The statue will be built immediately and placed on the Arts Quad at the site of the encampment by graduation. There will be a special ceremony when all the graduates, faculty, trustees, and the rest of the Cornell leadership are all assembled on the Arts Quad before they march into the stadium.

Although we have more than enough money already to pay for the building and placement of the statue, you can still send money to the Babbling Bear, and we will use it to buy honey from Gil’s Honey Bees, who make the best honey.