The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

Vote for Harris/Walz or Someone May Say Something Hateful

Retired President Pollack spent the past year trying to dismantle free speech at Cornell and replace it with civil disobedience. However, the Theme Year for Freedom of Expression was not entirely successful because there are still pockets of free speech at Cornell...

Bring Hugo Chávez Statues to Cornell

Far-right anti-government extremists are currently ravaging Venezuela. They are toppling the giant and beautiful statues of Hugo Chávez claiming that the election of the late president's handpicked successor, Nicolás Maduro was rigged. The far-right anti-government...

Martha Pollack Named Honorary Sheikha of Qatar

As president of Cornell University, Martha Pollack was well known for creating an atmosphere of belonging by quashing hate speech against everyone but the Jews. Given her success leading the Ivy League Institution, President Pollack has been named honorary Sheikha of...

Gad Saad (he/him) for the next President of Cornell University

Rumors are circulating that Gad Saad will be appointed the next president of Cornell University. The Bear had never heard of him and decided to do some research. While the research was originally intended to be oppo research, the Bear fell hopelessly in love with Gad...

We Were There Too

It seems that President Pollack is getting all the credit for appeasing the Peaceful Protesters at the Encampment. We, the members of Cornell's Board of Trustees, want to set the record straight. We too were at the meeting between President Pollack and the diverse...

Peace in Our Time

The Babbling Bear is happy to announce that President Martha Pollack has been awarded the Neville Chamberlain Peace in Our Time Award for rewarding the Peaceful Protesters from the Encampment at Cornell for conflating protected free speech with civil disobedience....

United Nations Recognizes Cornell Encampment

Just after the vote for the recognition of Palestine by the United Nations, the Sovereignty of the Cornell Encampment on the Arts Quad was also recognized. The countries who voted in favor of the recognition of Palestine were the same enlightened freedom-loving...

Build Encampments and Demand Rainbow Studies Programs

I have just uncovered the writings of Iristotle, a great philosopher who lived in the fourth century BC. Iristotle's writings were based on the revelations Iristotle got from Iris, the Goddess of the Rainbow. Iristotle's writing were suppressed throughout the...