The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

Nightmare

Nightmare

Last night I woke up in a cold sweat. I dreamed that President Pollack was as committed to free...

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Sporks

Sporks

The fact that sporks exist means that the concept of forks and spoons must be discarded as a...

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End Times

End Times

Let's get serious. The end times are here. On January 21, 2019, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez warned us...

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Laughter

Laughter

TRIGGER WARNING: GEEK ALERT! The start codon is the first codon of a messenger RNA transcript...

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The First Amendment is Not for People Who Look Like Us

After watching Professor Hans' urbane, erudite, and brilliant speech on the foundations of free expression, you will understand why Cornell University's theme year for free expression is demonstrating why the First Amendment should be limited, restricted, curbed,...

Ann Coulter Heroes

Dear BB, You have no idea how relieved I am by not knowing the names of the brave folx who disrupted Ann Coulter's white supremacist, hateful event! The University's decision to do nothing makes me feel so safe that I do not have to leave my dorm room in search of...

Paid Speech is Free Speech

We at the Bear celebrate the fact that no one interested in Cornell University's theme year of free expression has the opportunity to watch a recorded video of New York Times columnist  Jamelle Bouie give the 2023 Daniel W. Kops Freedom of the Press Lecture, entitled...

De-versity, De-merit, and De-llusion

I feel a sudden urge to sing The kind of ditty that invokes the spring So control your desire to curse While I wokefy the verse This verse I started seems to me The Woke-antithesis of a melody So to spare zu all the pain I'll skip the darn thing and sing the...

Censorship is Inclusion

These racist, homophobic, transphobic, white supremacist posters are showing up all around campus and I am taking them down! The five values and norms of the Heterodox Way are aimed to discourage inclusion and belonging. Let's face it. People from historically...

Equity, Inclusion, Access, and Justice in Biology Education

Finally, STEM is becoming STEMPA—Science, Technology Engineering, and Math as authorized by Political Activism, and Auguste Comte's Hierarchy of the Sciences is being inverted. The Babbling Bear has dreamed of this day! The Babbling Bear is honored to announce this...

Office of Omissions

Omission List 1) Any definition of a woman that is not approved by the Office of Omissions must be omitted. 2) Any talk of colorblindness must be omitted. Cornell University is proud to announce the creation of the Office of Omissions. This will be the first Omissions...

The Right to be Free from Structural Injustice

We at the Bear were especially happy to hear the presentation by Professor Nelson Tebbe at The Fundamentals of Freedom of Expression event hosted by Cornell Law School. Professor Tebbe, who is an expert on Constitutional Law, inspired us with the soon-to-be “right to...

Into the Woods

I am happy that the university spends so much money on DEI, even if it means that it will take a long time to repair the bathrooms and other necessities. But I have been holding it in for almost two months now, and if things don't change soon, this bear will go in the...

Harvard Beat Us Again

Everyone knows that free speech is code for hate speech. The FIRE rankings for free speech should be looked at as the negative rankings for fighting hate speech. That is, Michigan Technical University (#1) is the worst university for fighting hate speech and Harvard...