Neanderthal Day
by C. Columbo Columbus Day was removed from the academic calendar and replaced with Indigenous...
Legal Name Change Clinic
Dear readers, The Babbling Bear thought about seeking a legal name change to the Babbling Chipmunk...
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
The female cuckoo is far from a tradwife. She shows no signs of "toxic feminity" or internalized...
Help the Bear Find the Missing Link
The link is missing--the link that leads to the document that so eloquently states the reasons we...
The Bear Celebrates Women’s History Month
The Bear celebrates Women's History Month with Admiral Rachel Levine, Lia Thomas, and Laurel...
The Slippery Slope of Neurodiversity
Today, I am writing about the dangers of neurodiversity and how the term can be coopted by the...
The Litmus Test
The word litmus comes from Old Norse litmosi, which means “moss used for dyeing”. The dye was used...
Woke up! “Citizen science” is Harmful to Non-Citizens
I am calling out the Laboratory of Ornithology at Cornell University for doing "Citizen Science."...
End Times
Let's get serious. The end times are here. On January 21, 2019, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez warned us...
Power and Privilege
OK, it happened again. I am at my parent's house for winter break and I picked up one of those top...
An AntiSpeciesist Land Acknowledgement
Before the Gayogo̱hó:nǫɁ occupied the traditional homelands of the squirrels, deer, possums,...
My Professor is a Paleosapien
OK, there is no such word, but the claim is still true. The majority of what he teaches us was...
Noball Prize in Physiology or Medicine
In order to commemorate the splendid take down of Harvard's Martin Kulldorff, Oxford’s Sunetra...
Finally: A Whitelist
While even those of us who were not yet born are still smarting from the sting of blacklisting by...
Judging the Past from the Present
Until last night I resented learning about dead white men such as Francis Bacon and Isaac Newton...
Chinese Weather Balloon Lands on McGraw Tower
BREAKING NEWS As what might be the latest and greatest evidence for anthropogenic climate change...
Four Pictures are Worth a Thousand Professors
Do you remember a time when you picked up a magazine and just looked at the pictures? Here are the...
It’s the Real Thing: Med Schools in Third World Countries
Medical Schools in the United States are going out of their way to prioritize the "lived...
Become a Deaf, Dumb, and Blind Antiracist Wizard
The goal of life is to realize the absolute oneness of Ibram X. Kendi, a presence from whom the...
Laughter
TRIGGER WARNING: GEEK ALERT! The start codon is the first codon of a messenger RNA transcript...
Far from the Maudlin Crowd
Dear Diary, It was actually nice being home during intersession and arguing with my parents over...
Racism Exposed: White Toilets are Signs of Whiteness
The title almost says it all. But if you need more: White urinals and sinks are also signs of...
Deconstructing Ezra Cornell
In solidarity with the deconstruction of Martin Luther King Jr. and using his arms to represent...
The Final Delusion
At universities where self-censoring has been becoming the norm, on campus we will see more and...
The University of the Absurd
To be antiracist requires a university to become an antiuniversity. How does a university become...
Celebrate Ibram X. Kendi Day
As antiracists at Cornell, we can be proud that we got rid of Columbus Day, Lincoln's Birthday,...
A Man is the Measure of All Things
Protagoras thought that man was the measure of all things; but Protagoras did not have the...
Microaggressions Have No Place in Sports
According to the New York Post, The Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work at University of...
Temporary Housing
by Girl, 1975 Balch dormitory was my home, temporarily, in 1975. How lucky was I at 18 years old...
“Weapon Control” and the First Amendment
Catharine A. MacKinnon is my hero because she clearly expressed in an article entitled Weaponizing...
Inverting Auguste Comte’s Hierarchy of the Sciences
Traditionally, SCIENCE has been considered to be a method to acquire knowledge through observation...
Bear on the Wire
The Bear has been looking back over 2022. Sometimes a song just says it best. Like a bear...
© Goltzius
Black Body Radiation: De-centering Whiteness
In our effort to de-emphasize the scientific method in the STEM curriculum at Cornell University...
The Zir Decade and the First Great Awokening
It is telling that descriptions of the first two Great Awakenings are limited by the use of nouns,...
End the Perpetuation of Slavery at Cornell
A Cornell University website claims that our institution perpetuates slavery. If this be true, we...
When Familiar and Commonly Used Words Lose Their Meaning
According to comrade Solzhenitsyn (he/him/his), our dream of Utopia is close. He wrote that it...
Stop Living Off Racism: The 1955 Project
Now that hate speech advocate Elon Musk has his clutches around Twitter, we have started the 1955...
Fruit of the Poisonous Tree
As an absolute antiracist, I am tired of problematic half measures like removing the names of...
Emasculating Men
By Cassie Trator OK, the secret is out. Our goal is to emasculate men--either through surgery or...
Abolish Logos and Replace it with Logo(s)
By Democritus The fastest and most efficient way to stop the perpetuation of white-supremist...
A Prayer for Fair Weather
By Art Fine, Every Cornellian understands the value of a prayer for good weather when...
Another Brick in the DEI Wall
by Melody Cleft I have mentioned previously that our Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion movement...
Hans Schultz School for University Administrators
The Hans Schultz School for University Administrators has a three year program that is designed to...
Let Me Make One Thing Perfectly Clear
By Missy Conception There are misconceptions circulating around the Cornell University campus...
Tortoises All the Way Down
Jonathan Haight says that universities must choose between a telos of Truth or a telos of Social...
The New Trivium
The classical trivium based on the white pre-postmodern assumption that there is an objective...
Cornell Offers New Program in Lip Service
Cornell University in Ithaca and Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City have created a new...
![The [Privileged and Offensive Royal] Society of Chemistry](https://babblingbear.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/royal-society-400x250.png?crop=1)
The [Privileged and Offensive Royal] Society of Chemistry
We at the Babbling Bear applaud the Royal Society of Chemistry for their heroic action in...
Verklempt–Because Words Matter
by a sorry friend According to Christopher Dunn, whose was hired to be the Director of the Cornell...
Balch Before Me Too
by Girl 1975 So Balch is home to female-identified Cornell freshmen now, or should I say,...
Replace DEI Statements with Deli Statements
The Babbling Bear is taking a poll. Which statement resonates with you? Smoked whitefish on a...
A Woke Sigh of Relief
By Woke Prophet My fellow woke Cornellians, it’s been 10 whole minutes since we invented the...
Send in the Clowns
by Kelly Emmett What does belonging mean at Cornell when we clowns do not...
Who Defines and Controls Knowledge?
As a classically liberal American university, Cornell’s mission used to be to discover, preserve...
Pablum: The New Curriculum
Cornell University is happy to announce the new Pablum Curriculum. The primary goal of the Pablum...
Pin the Head on the Ostrich
By the whole Babbling Bear Team, While we at the Bear are waiting to hear a statement from...
In Praise of the Evolution of Martha Pollack
by Phreatichthys Andruzzii On April 17, 2017, one day short of the 242nd anniversary of Paul...
Anyone Have a Similar Experience?
by Anonymous. Anyone have a similar experience? OK, this might be TMI, but while I was in the...
Cornell Center for Hating Straight White Males
By the entire editorial board of the Babbling Bear We are happy to announce the creation of the...
Land Acknowledgement: Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and China
by the entire editorial board of the Babbling Bear Whether or not you are observing Thanksgiving...
The First Republican President Was a Groomer
As reported by the Lancaster Daily Evening Express, on February 16, 1861 Abraham Lincoln kissed a...
Thanksgiving with “Your Uncle”
By your nephew If you find yourself stuck at a Thanksgiving Dinner having to deal with "that...
Is it Obvious that Lori Lightfoot is African American?
by Lori Heavyhand Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot told BET.com on September 20, 2022 that [f]rom a...
So…Whose Lives Matter (WLM)?
by the entire Babbling Bear editorial board The Chicago Sun Times prints the name of every person...
I Represent Science
By Mack Avelli On November 28, when classes resume after the Antihypocrite Day Break (previously...
Stop Blaming the Victim!
By the entire editorial board The Cornell Review reported that President Pollack responded thusly...
The Seven Words You Must Say at Cornell
By Carley George Seven is the number of completion. Newton divided white [sic] light into seven...
Martha’s Philosophical Pillow
By Martha Lindell In his essay Of Experience, Michel de Montaigne wrote, “There is no desire more...
All My Loving (Parody)
Dear Fellow Babblers, A reader just sent us this parody by Remy doing All My Loving by the...
December 7: A Date which Will Live in Infamy
By Blair Erics On December 7, a date which will live in infamy, George Orwell, a fellow democratic...
The Three Virtues
By Hyde Fromue The eleven moral virtues described by Aristotle in the Nicomachean Ethics include...
A Professor’s Lament
A Professor's Lament By anonymous First they came for the Racists, but I was not a Racist so I did...
The New Biology
By Juan Half The Ithaca City School District is preparing our sons, daughters, and non-binary...
January 6: A Dark Day in History
By Rocky Normwell On January 6, 1941, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt made the transition from...
What if General Patton Were Alive Today?
By Al Dente
The Coddling of the American Butt
by Joey Buttafluko We have come a long way since 2018, when Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt...
Plants Deserve to be Studied by Scientists Who Look Like Them or at Least Identify with Them
By Phil O’Dendron Implicit bias has poked its ugly head throughout each and every field of...
Alumna Ann Coulter Deplatformed!!!
By the entire editorial board The Babbling Bear is proud of its fellow Cornellians for shouting...
Musicians Wanted
by Melody Cleft I just realized that the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion movement has no...
Grammar Policing Is Racist
By William B. Fukley Not only is there no inherent ‘standard’ of English but there must not be no...
A Question of Balance
By Justin Wayward Last month, University of Minnesota Regent Steven A. Sviggum asked a question...
ACTA’s Gold Standard for Racism and Hate Speech
by Saul Thomas Cornellians Beware! You have nothing to lose but your brains! As if the presence of...
Duck and Cover
by Abner Little Everyone knows that [t]he idea behind giving professors lifetime tenure is that...
The Antiracist Uncertainty Principle
By Hymie Wernerberg In our battle to replace systemic racism with antiracism, we turn our...
Vertebraerosion in Administrators: Due to Toxic Exposure to the Element Administratium?
by Dr. Louis Leaker A perhaps not so surprising discovery was made today when an X-ray technician...
The Bill of Lefts
by Alan Saulinsky Ph.D. In an attempt to encourage and promote a climate of Diversity,...
Colorblind
Dear Babbling Bear, I am so confused. I just read The Passing of the Great Race by Madison Grant...
To Be Diverse, We Must Fight Viewpoint Diversity
by Mark Herbcuse I applaud the person or persons who blocked the listing of a noncompliant...
To Be Inclusive, We Must Be Anti-inclusive
by Chicolini Marx IV I have noticed that there are still some miscreant faculty and students at...
The Great Leap Backward
by Owen Jessies We are proud that our beloved Cornell University is taking the Great Leap Backward...
Activists Wanted
Editor's note: A small pot of tupelo honey was accepted in exchange for publishing this...
Diversity & Inclusion: A Litterary Tale
by Dwayne Schneider I am a Custodial Services Building Care employee at Cornell University in...
How to be an Antihypocrite
by Ibram X. Kennedy In a stunning display of solidarity and honesty, heretofore unseen at any...
Don’t Save the Seal
by Carcharodonius Carcharias Thankfully, the traditional Cornell Seal has gone through a makeover...
Neanderthal Day
by C. Columbo Columbus Day was removed from the academic calendar and replaced with Indigenous People's Day in 2017. Our woke ideologues falsely turned the intrepid explorer into a villain and indigenous people into his victims. After 10,000 years of separation, his...
Legal Name Change Clinic
Dear readers, The Babbling Bear thought about seeking a legal name change to the Babbling Chipmunk when I saw that Cornell was having a Legal Name Change Clinic. However, I did not realize that the clinic was only for transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming...
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
The female cuckoo is far from a tradwife. She shows no signs of "toxic feminity" or internalized sexism, having no need to conform to rigid female gender roles due to social pressure. The female cuckoo lives the most fulfilling life of all birds while maintaining her...
Help the Bear Find the Missing Link
The link is missing--the link that leads to the document that so eloquently states the reasons we should be transforming the Amerikan universities from institutions whose mission is the search for truth into institutions that train social justice warriors:...
The Bear Celebrates Women’s History Month
The Bear celebrates Women's History Month with Admiral Rachel Levine, Lia Thomas, and Laurel Hubbard. Nudge nudge wink wink say no more.
The Slippery Slope of Neurodiversity
Today, I am writing about the dangers of neurodiversity and how the term can be coopted by the basket of deplorables that we do not wish to see at Cornell University. Cornell’s diversity includes neurodiversity. Many students identify as “neurotypical”–they showed a...
The Litmus Test
The word litmus comes from Old Norse litmosi, which means “moss used for dyeing”. The dye was used by the Vikings to dye their clothes blue. The dye actually comes from lichens not mosses. In the 14th century, Arnaldus de Villa Nova, a physician, alchemist, and...
Woke up! “Citizen science” is Harmful to Non-Citizens
I am calling out the Laboratory of Ornithology at Cornell University for doing "Citizen Science." The Lab of O is falling behind the growing commitment to inclusion in ecology and evolutionary biology (EEB). The EEB Language Project along with other efforts have...
End Times
Let's get serious. The end times are here. On January 21, 2019, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez warned us that "The World is Going to End In Twelve Years If We Don’t Address Climate Change." That was four years ago, which means that we only have eight years left. Let's get...
Power and Privilege
OK, it happened again. I am at my parent's house for winter break and I picked up one of those top of the toilet tank-sized books. It was called The Secular Creed by Rebecca McLaughlin. Besides the fact that the book is not secular at all, it really opened my eyes....