The Hans Schultz School for University Administrators has a three year program that is designed to provide the academic preparation and credentials necessary for college and university professionals to enhance their expertise and advance their careers.
The curriculum combines both postmodernist theory and activist training consistent with the changing landscape of American higher education. While the program was originally suitable for individuals working in Ivy League Universities, the program has been sufficiently dumbed-down to accommodate those in community colleges, 4-year colleges and universities—both public and private—and even government agencies that address higher education planning, and regulation. While many such programs exist, ours is unique in that snacks are provided in every class.
After the first year of training, you will understand organizational charts, and be able to say with a straight face:
“I see nothing! NOTHING!”
After the second year of training, you will be able to say honestly:
“I see nothing, I know nothing!”
After the third year of training, all you will be able to say is:
“I see nothing! I hear nothing! I know nothing!” or simply, “I know nothing. Nothing!”
and nobody will question you.
We guarantee placement in one of 100 universities at the bottom of the list in the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression Free Speech Rankings within three days of graduation.