The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

Ann Coulter Heroes

Dear BB,

You have no idea how relieved I am by not knowing the names of the brave folx who disrupted Ann Coulter’s white supremacist, hateful event! The University’s decision to do nothing makes me feel so safe that I do not have to leave my dorm room in search of another safe space! I can simply stay in, remote and zoom or whatever I need to do to pass my courses. Ann Coulter is a well-known despicable person (she has NEVER confirmed her TRUE identity, but she’s still person), and ought to be silenced at all times. The brave people who will never be known who have stood up and yelled at that degenerate creature while she was spewing all these disgusting ideas need to be worshipped, but being familiar with who they are, whether they are still at Cornell, might cause some serious damage if they decide to pursue the careers their affluent, well-heeled, careers their parents planned them to have. Have you ever heard of Mark Chapman? He’s one of the guys whose name we are not remembering. He killed John Lennon. We should never, ever, know these people’s names. We need to ensure their status quo remains safe and they never become martyrs, even if they deserve to be worshipped and stuff. We need that so they can continue fighting against climate change while their disgustingly wealthy parents pay for their education.

Forever yours,

CP

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