The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

The Wit and Wisdom of Cornellians

The right of Big Red Bears to babble shall not be infringed

Cornell Center for Hating Straight White Males

By the entire editorial board of the Babbling Bear

We are happy to announce the creation of the Cornell Center for Hating Straight White Males (HSWM). Since its inception, the Babbling Bear has been working tirelessly behind the scenes fighting for educational justice for historically marginalized BIPOC, LGBTQ+ and disabled students. The Cornell Center for Hating Straight White Males is a partial realization of our goals.

The creation of the Center in a temporary space in Willard “Straight” Hall is only the beginning. Clearly the Center should have its own building that has no ties to Straightness. The Center is currently seeking to secure eight-figure donors who have never read either Shelby Steele’s White Guilt or Charles Negy’s White Shaming. The donations, although tax-deductible, will not be considered philanthropy, since the word philanthropy comes from the Greek word philanthrōpos, which means man-loving. The donated money will ensure that no student from any historically marginalized group will ever have to take a fundamental course in engineering, physics, and biology from an able-bodied, cis-gendered, heterosexual, white male again.

According to one student, [r]egardless of how thick the textbook, how comprehensive the curriculum, or how many degrees he’s got behind his name, a cis, straight, white man cannot truly connect to the discriminatory experiences that many minority students live. Attempting to learn from and engage with a professor who doesn’t understand you can be exhausting. 

When built, the Cornell Center for Hating Straight White Males will overlook Cayuga Lake at the spot where the statue of the able-bodied, cis-gendered, heterosexual, white Ezra Cornell now stands.

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