by Ibram X. Kennedy
In a stunning display of solidarity and honesty, heretofore unseen at any university, all the white cis-heteronormative people serving in administrative positions that promote Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Cornell University, have resigned. This courageous act has opened 76 high-paying positions for people in historically and newly marginalized communities, as well as those who will have been marginalized in the future. The press release states that this milestone signals the end of an era founded on the principle that the only remedy to past hypocrisy is present hypocrisy and that the only remedy to present hypocrisy is future hypocrisy.
As a show of gratitude, the spirit of the seventy-six Antihypocrites should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice. Accordingly, the last Thursday in November will now be celebrated at Cornell University as Antihypocrite Day. Students will be encouraged to go home during the Antihypocrite Day break and lecture their parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and siblings on their perverseness and disobedience, and show them the way to be an Antihypocrite.
Rumors have it that Nell Irvin Painter will be releasing a new edition of The History of White People to commemorate the first Antihypocrite Day.
The Babbling Bear is soliciting recipes to be used to celebrate Antihypocrite Day. Please submit them in the Comments section. Selected recipes will be published in The Antihypocrite Cookbook.